[ Unaware of Souji's inner processes, Ivan thinks that their discussion has switched to fanboy about Kondou time. He eases into sitting more comfortably, not as stiff and full of nerves as he had been. ]
He really is. He seems like the kind of guy who'd adopt a lot of people.
[ Part of him wonders if the entire Shinsengumi were adopted by him, but if Souji's feeling jealous... maybe not...? ]
I think he'd spend time with anyone who'd ask. Even after what happened.
[ while ivan grows more relaxed, souji feels his chest tighten, tension filtering through every joint and bone but he ignores it. he wonders if he can leave soon. ]
If you ask him about Shieikan, then you'll know it's a tendency he's had for a long time now.
[ thinking back on it, didn't kondou-san adopt him back then too? but now, even souji knows things can't ever be that easy. he blurts out words before he has a chance to stop and think, but it's quiet enough. easy enough to be missed. ]
[ Shieikan? Ivan makes a mental note to ask what that is, and he's about to ask Souji when he's distracted by the small utterance. It sounds like something Ivan would to. That warm smile on Ivan's face falls. ]
Why? If this was a misunderstanding and COMPASS' influence, he doesn't seem like he would.
[ Though, Ivan can also understand why he'd think that too. He doesn't know if he could face others in risk of discovering they would want nothing to do with him anymore, too afraid to apologize and feeling like he can't possibly ask that of them either. Such a time has happened to Ivan before. ]
[ ivan isn't the first to tell souji the exact same thing. if it wasn't for compass, none of this would have gone down the way it did, and he can see that, he knows that, but kondou-san still saw what he's been hiding all this time. kondou-san doesn't need any outside influences to realize just that, and souji is too afraid to face him and clear things up.
he doesn't even think he deserves that much. ]
Kondou-san has been occupied with other things. [ other people, more like. it's not a lie. just... a tiny assumption, and a way for souji to avoid the subject. ] But did you need to tell me anything else?
[ This conversation is over when Ivan hears Souji ask him if there's anything he wants to add. Maybe there is. Maybe there isn't, but Ivan feels that he's overstayed his welcome... despite being in his classroom to begin with.
He has already made Souji's life harder than it needs to be. Ivan doesn't wish to add more to it. ]
I... um, no. Thank you so much for coming, and I'm sorry for disturbing you with my apology.
Then I'll be going. You can make it up to me later if you still feel so bad over it.
[ it's really no wonder why kondou-san took a liking to this kid, but souji doesn't want to think about that much longer. he takes one last look at ivan and slips away.]
[ Ivan stays where he is, as he is, until he can't hear Souji's footsteps anymore. And when he only hears the awful Void, he'll make his way back to the mattress to hope that Barnaby returns soon. Maybe Ivan could curl up next to him for while and take a nap, so he doesn't have to think about anything for a while.
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He really is. He seems like the kind of guy who'd adopt a lot of people.
[ Part of him wonders if the entire Shinsengumi were adopted by him, but if Souji's feeling jealous... maybe not...? ]
I think he'd spend time with anyone who'd ask. Even after what happened.
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If you ask him about Shieikan, then you'll know it's a tendency he's had for a long time now.
[ thinking back on it, didn't kondou-san adopt him back then too? but now, even souji knows things can't ever be that easy. he blurts out words before he has a chance to stop and think, but it's quiet enough. easy enough to be missed. ]
... I don't think he will. Not with me, at least.
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Why? If this was a misunderstanding and COMPASS' influence, he doesn't seem like he would.
[ Though, Ivan can also understand why he'd think that too. He doesn't know if he could face others in risk of discovering they would want nothing to do with him anymore, too afraid to apologize and feeling like he can't possibly ask that of them either. Such a time has happened to Ivan before. ]
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he doesn't even think he deserves that much. ]
Kondou-san has been occupied with other things. [ other people, more like. it's not a lie. just... a tiny assumption, and a way for souji to avoid the subject. ] But did you need to tell me anything else?
[ he wants to go back to sleep now. ]
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He has already made Souji's life harder than it needs to be. Ivan doesn't wish to add more to it. ]
I... um, no. Thank you so much for coming, and I'm sorry for disturbing you with my apology.
[ Ivan bows low again. ]
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[ it's really no wonder why kondou-san took a liking to this kid, but souji doesn't want to think about that much longer. he takes one last look at ivan and slips away.]
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This could have gone better... ]